Friday, July 09, 2004

Come to my Party

My mood is definitely on the upswing. I'm home again, started my stims last night, and feeling fabulous. Of course it helps that just last night I encountered a few extra friendly men at the airport. I'm convinced that men find me more attractive the more fertile I get. Of course it could be my mood lifting as my hope starts to build, but I really think that it's something innate leftover from their cavemen days that helps them sense when a woman is fruitful, a good candidate for their seed. Generally I'm not. But, once I start stims I become not only fertile, but super fertile. I go from being plain jane to sexy mama, but without a change in wardrobe.

I am always surprised when I find that someone has read my blog. I read it and it's horrible. There are so many other blogs on infertility that are funny, insightful, interesting and entertaining. I fear mine is none of these, but long boring diary entries. Dear Diary, I'm sad. Dear Diary, I'm happy. Dear Diary, why are there no tissues in the ultrasound rooms when of course I will cry or at least need them to clean myself up afterwards. Who likes that blue goop to remain on them from the trojan-covered wand? I always have to root around in the drawers to find some scratchy paper towel type things to use to get myself back together. One of these days they're going to find me half-dressed, rifling through the cabinets, and fear that I've finally lost it and looking to steal all their lovely white drapes. Yes, and then I'm going to steal all your condoms too so I can have an IVF-theme party with condom balloons, guests in gowns, catheter drink straws, blindfolded game of wand the woman, and noise makers made from speculums. Oh yea, it will be fun. For the door prize, everyone will pull a number out of the hat and the one with the most follicles wins. It will actually be a fundraising event to raise money to buy Playgirl for the exam rooms. Why do the guys get all the fun? Why can't sexual gratification for women be incorporated somewhere into the process?

6 Comments:

Blogger Barren Mare said...

Au contraire, your blog is wonderful. And funny, and insightful, and real. You super fertile babe, you.

11:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, I think your blog is hillarious. I so hope this is your month.

Jennifer

summerbreeze.typepad.com

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always use the gown to wipe off. Oh, and I just found your blog, and I have to say, it is very good to read.

Kris
http://icantbebrokencani.typepad.com

1:20 PM  
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