Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Symptoms, Finally

I have symptoms. This doesn't sound exciting, but I've been waiting for something, anything to help me feel pregnant.

My nips are sensitive and sore, as if they had been pinched very hard. I also have a feeling of sickness that comes and goes. It's not enough to make me throw up, but that's okay with me. I also have cramping that comes and goes, which is scary but I remember cramping when I was pregnant before.

Speaking of my last pregnancy, I never got morning sickness then either. I was even pregnant with a girl which is supposed to cause more morning sickness. I do remember being extremely tired, and blood tests confirmed that I was anemic. I wonder if I am again. It's strange that the RE's office doesn't even check, or maybe they will at the 6 week u/s. I should probably start taking extra iron just in case.

Pretty boring post, huh? I know, I know. I'm a lot more fun to read when I'm angry.

I did get a call from my brother's wife yesterday. I have told only 2 siblings out of my 6. I told him in a sort of revenge after I found out that Matt told his parents. It's a decision I now regret. Of course he told his wife, I expect no different. I knew as soon as I saw the caller ID that she was fishing. They had called last week too, about nothing in particular. They were both on the phone, which kind of weirds me out. I didn't say anything about the cycle, which is why she called back yesterday. She kept asking how I was. I'm fine, just working, got to get back to work, you know how it is. Finally at the end, she came out and asked if we knew anything about how the cycle went. I answered that it's not a subject I'm comfortable talking about. Actually, I don't like talking about it. Sometimes I volunteer information when I feel comfortable, but I don't like being questioned. That should end the phone calls from them.

Matt's parents also called last night. Unfortunately, this was not a call I could control as Matt spoke to them. I know that they asked about it and Matt said that everything was good but that we didn't have any definite results yet.

Matt and I agreed not to tell anyone until after the u/s next week. It gives us time to get used to all of this, and time in case something goes wrong. Also, I like staying out of the limelight a little longer while I figure myself out. I know that once we announce, there will be many, many phone calls and I don't want to explain everything again and again. Is that selfish? Perhaps, but this has been a very long journey and I need time before I disclose it all. I enjoy my privacy and I'm still scared to death that something will go wrong. I guess the fear of bad news never goes away.

4 Comments:

Blogger amanda said...

It's not selfish. You can wait and tell people when you're good and ready.

Yay on the symptoms!

9:23 AM  
Blogger Jen P said...

I too would want to tell everyone at once. That way it all comes out, no rehashing of things that still border on the sensitive side of things and I couldn't even imagine having to tell people over and over and over.

yeah for symptoms! It's all very exciting!

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pazel,

It's not selfish, it's your business. When you're ready, you'll tell. Glad you're getting symptoms :)

Emily
http://scrambledeggs.blogs.com/scrambled_eggs/

10:57 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

So glad to read that you're having more symptoms! Yea for you and embie!!

Like you, I recently discovered my own pg and am also dealing with what/when to tell family. On the one hand, I want to proclaim it loudly and proudly to all; on the other hand, I fear the bad things that could still happen, the explaining we'd have to do if something did go wrong. I have also had cramping on and off (added to some spotting last week) and that scares me even though I realize it can be perfectly normal (at least according to what my friends with kids have said) but you're right, the fear never goes away.
I'm also of the mindset that hubby and I perhaps tell our famlies after that first u/s. Maybe then the odds will be more in our favor, maybe then we can dare to dream.

How I look forward to my first u/s this coming Monday...I just want to know it's where it should be and that will give me more hope. I wish the same for you and DH :-)

5:12 AM  

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