Monday, October 04, 2004

Dear Friend

My mother is still visiting so this has to be quick.

Yesterday we went shopping and I bought a bunch of maternity clothes. I have been rotating my last few remaining clothes that fit and it was getting ridiculous. The sales woman told me that all sales items sold are final, and I immediately thought that if something happens I will give them to my sister-in-law. Bringing home such a huge pile of maternity clothes felt like I was jinxing it rather than a victory. I had to listen to the baby's heartbeat last night because I felt for sure that buying that much would surely stop its heart.

Matt has been calling me every night from Florida. Last night was his second night in Orlando. They had left Fort Lauderdale after they finished their project down there. They're actually working about 90 minutes outside Orlando. He complains that they aren't being given enough work to do that they spend too much time waiting. Yesterday, the managers (who do not actually do any field work, have never dealt with a work force this large, and aren't good at estimating times) again assigned them too little work. They were specifically told not to go out on their own. Rather than sitting around waiting for bus back to the hotel, they took off in their truck in search of work. They came upon 6 houses without power and fixed it. Some people came out to thank them and they asked for where another neighborhood would be without power. They then drove there and restored their power. Then did it for another neighborhood, and another.

He said that it felt great to finally feel like they did all that they could do in a day, and the people were so nice and grateful that it made it even more worthwhile. I have a feeling that as long as the managers continue to assign them too little work, they will continue going out on their own and hooking up the little guys. Who knows when these people were finally going to get their power on.

I understand having priorities as to getting the power turned on, and have made my guess as to how they probably are listed. First would be hospitals and other life saving entities. Second maybe government (although should be last), schools and businesses. Third would be residents who are well connected, know the right people, live in an exclusive zip code. Fourth would be the rest of us. Ideally, the managers should be assigning them more work than they can do in a day. These guys are happy to work, wanting to get as much done everyday so that they can get back to their families sooner. They are used to long hours and hustling the whole time. They don't do well standing around. So they're skipping ahead to the small neighborhoods in their spare time. And they love it.

Of course he misses home and I miss him. Hopefully by the time he gets back I will have a more substantial tummy, not one that just looks chubby. I have this feeling like people at school are wondering if I've let myself go. Yep, but hopefully I've got a pregnancy to blame it on.

My doctor's visit went great. Nothing was said about my weight. My OB said congratulations and gave me a big hug because she has known all these years we've been trying and all we did to get here. She made me cry that she cared. I love her and can't think of a better doctor for this pregnancy. She signed my note to get me out of the TB test at work, which isn't bad for a pregnancy but I don't want to do it. Besides, I'm only at the hospital a few days a month and that's in the finance and administrative offices. She also said that I should stop flying at 24 weeks. That's only 10 weeks from now! My last trip could be in December, then not again until... June? Next time I go to Phoenix I'm going to have to talk to my boss about that, maternity leave, and my desire to work part time after the baby is born. It's either part time or not at all. With school and another child, I don't think I could manage working full time from home with a baby again. I'm not looking forward to this conversation as I love my boss and she's been especially generous and understanding with me.

This feels more like a letter to a friend than a deep introspection of the soul. It's all I can manage with my mother in the other room. I'd better get back to work before she steps in here and sees that I've got a blog. Scary!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to hear from you. I think it is wonderful that your husband and the people working with him weren't content to simply end the day without doing all they could do. I am sure the people directly helped are and will continue to be very grateful.

As for your belly. I just ordered more maternity clothes. If I order through the mail, then somehow maybe it counts less? I understand what you're saying, these "if something goes wrong" thoughts. It makes me cry to read those words in your blog; both because it is so sad to have those thoughts and because I know too well why we have those thoughts. We're not the innocent, I just got my positive test, I'm going to decorate the nursery kind of pregnant women, and I grieve that sometimes.

But we are pregnant. And I believe there will be babies. And as I keep saying to my husband (who doesn't understand why this is a mind blowing concept) "at the end of this, I think we're actually going to get to take a baby home!

But you know. And I am grateful to know that I am not alone.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Suzy said...

Ever wish you could surf all day. I wish I could. I can only say you ahve a great blog and take off. Want to find a baby doll nursery site sometime today. Again, thanks.

1:02 AM  

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