Monday, October 25, 2004

It's a ....

What a stressful night that was when I last posted. I was so mad that I couldn't sleep, although it was also because I was nervous about the amnio. Basically I had to sign-over that I would pay for it myself if they couldn't collect from my insurance pals. I will make sure they pay for all they put me through during an already stressful time.

First we met with a genetic counselor. She wrote out our basic family trees asking about everyone's health. Everyone is good, except for an incident of Hutchinson's disease on my side of the family. Although it can be detected in an amnio, they don't test for it because it's a very specific test. They would only do the test if I was tested and proved to be a carrier. Considering that there is only 1 out of my 40+ cousins who have this, it may be that she got it from her father's side of the family.

The genetic counselor was interested in the fact that we went through ICSI to conceive. ICSI babies have a higher chance of Klinefelter's syndrome which means the baby has 3 sex chromosomes XXY, which can cause learning difficulties and infertility. She also explained that my age gave me a 1/300 chance of down's syndrome which gave me no comfort considering my friend's age gave her a 1/700 chance and she got the one.

The ultrasound was incredible. I hadn't seen little Flicker since 8 weeks. First the tech asked if we wanted to know the sex and as soon as I said yes, the baby's legs opened and out wagged the goods. Yep, it's a boy, and he's proud of it. This was a complete and total shock to both of us. I started crying and even Matt had tears. We both couldn't believe it. For the rest of the ultrasound, as she was showing us all the important parts of our baby, we couldn't get over that he's a boy. He's a boy. That still sounds strange.

We had both assumed the baby was a girl, and I have to admit that this came from me. Everything I read said that men with male factor issues sired girls because the female sperm is heartier. Even female embryos are heartier so it's impressive that out of our 12 fertilized embryos, the only one who survived was a boy. A boy. I can't believe it. I never thought I would have one. Never. I had given up on that and moved on to imagining my life with just a daughter or maybe two. Matt did as well. I think he'll still want to coach Janie in softball one day, but now he'll also get to coach little league like his Dad did and he's ecstatic.

Back to the ultrasound. Little flicker likes to put his hands up to his face and I swear he waved. He also had his ankles crossed when his legs were outstretched. He was very fidgety, constantly moving around which makes him just like his Dad. I couldn't be prouder.

Then fun time was over and it was time for the amnio. The physician came in and first did a quick ultrasound to get familiar with the baby. He said there were no soft makers for Down's. He told me that my odds of Downs is 1/300 and with no soft markers in an amnio such as this it makes it 1/700, but the risk of miscarriage from amnio is 1/300. Did I still want to continue? I almost said no. I understand the math as he explained it to me. I had seen my son and I loved him and I couldn't imagine anything being wrong with him. But, I knew that this was what I wanted and had discussed ad naseum with Matt for weeks and if I didn't get it done I would worry and stress and beat myself up over it. I said yes.

They tilted the table so that my feet were higher than my head. (I suppose this is to gather the most fluid in one pocket. I can't help but wonder if the baby floats?) Using the ultrasound, the doctor made a mark on my belly somewhat below my belly button. He then took the needle and you would think he would gently guide it in but it's nothing like that. I swear I'm not lying. It is a stab and I had no idea it would be like that. It didn't hurt, but it was traumatic. As he was taking out the fluid I couldn't look but Matt says he was worried that there wouldn't be much left for the baby. It was probably only 30 seconds or maybe a minute and it was over. He showed me the fluid to check my name and pointed out it was yellow like pee. (I never thought it would be yellow. I don't want him swimming in urine! Can we clean the tank?)

So Matt and I went to lunch in a strange stupor. We were excited that the baby was a boy and looked okay. We were off balance from the amnio. I finally think I got Matt to agree that 2 kids would be perfect so I can get my tubes tied. Before this, he liked to talk about trying naturally which got me nervous since I knew it would continue the emotional roller coaster for me. I'm done with it. I'm tired of not getting pregnant. Let's quit while we're ahead.

After not getting any sleep the night before, I nearly fell asleep in the car ride home and would have fallen asleep on the couch if my phone wasn't ringing nonstop. All our family and friends wanted to know the sex and they were as shocked as we were, but all were happy. We'll have one boy and one girl. I had bought a book on baby names and had read the girl section front to back, but couldn't find one I liked. Now I get to read the boy section. That's just weird.

That night Matt and I went to Ruths Chris steak house for a fabulous dinner. We celebrated a good ultrasound showing a healthy child as well as our 12th wedding anniversary. It was a beautiful night.

This weekend, I've been trying to entertain myself while I waited for the FISH results which is a quick response on some of the amnio. They just called and all is good. No trisomy 18, 21 or the other one that I forget. And there's only 2 sex chromosomes which she confirmed is XY for a boy. I still can't believe it. And you couldn't wipe the smile off my face if you tried.


Blogger amanda said...


4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad the amnio went well and the test results look good!


8:18 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Congrats, Pazel. That is wonderful news--and happy belated anniversary!

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's wonderful Pazel, really wonderful.



9:56 AM  
Blogger Merely Mom said...

Such wonderful news!!

I had no idea about the female embryos being stronger. Got some places I can find out about that?

I am so happy you are having a boy.. they are just wonderful.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So relieved for you and your husband...congratulations!

alex/infertile gourmet

6:06 PM  
Blogger E. said...

Excellent -- congratulations!

5:35 AM  
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