Monday, October 11, 2004

Making Hay While the Sun Shines

After such a productive weekend, today kind of sucks. My husband came home and he took off Friday so he could spend it with us. Against all odds, I didn't catch Janie's flu. Instead, I got caught up in some serious nesting. I reorganized several cupboards in the kitchen as well as my office. Sadly, today Matt has the flu. I don't know how he caught it and I didn't when he arrived after she was better and I'm the one who cared for her. My poor sweetie.

So what caused me to start cleaning and organizing? The glorious second trimester. In the short time since I started this second trimester, I've finished several big projects around the house that have been hanging around for months. I was more exhausted than sick in my first trimester. Now, not only has my energy returned, but it's my attitude. I'm starting to feel confident. Is that the right word? Maybe it's that I'm not depressed or consumed by infertility and the necessary drugs and their side effects and setting new appointments and checking for symptoms and so on.

Here's my 8 months medically...

December - gall bladder surgery & bad mammogram
January - breast surgery
February - appointments and tests
March, April, May - failed IUI, failed IUI, failed IUI
June - birth control pills
July - IVF
August, September - first trimester

All this and work and school and family and Pazel's a weak and tired girl. Finally, I'm regaining my strength. I'm rebuilding my fire. I'm not so sad, but I'm actually happy. Not just for the moment, but when I'm alone. It's a little scary, but it's much better than the alternative. I think I'll take it and not complain. Not today anyways.

Except for my husband being sick. Poor guy.


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