Friday, October 29, 2004

What to expect when you're expecting after infertility

"Now that you've been pregnant once, you'll be able to get pregnant again easily."
Truth is, PCOS, male factor, etc is not fixed by pregnancy. The problem wasn't that our cervix needed to dilate to 10 so the sperm could swim past. Next time we're just older which is not good when you're talking fertility. I'm a prime example as second time took more to get me pregnant than the first time (IVF vs. IUI). Obviously, getting lucky once doesn't mean you will ever again.

"What type of birth control do you want to use after the birth?"
This one always made me laugh. It is usually asked in earnest by your doctors towards the end of pregnancy or at the post partum visit. When I'd answer none, I'd get lectures on how I could get pregnant again right away. Really? That would be fabulous. Pregnant for free and without intervention. Can you imagine?

"Do you want a boy or a girl?"
It doesn't matter. Either one. No really. They always think I'm lying when I'd say that. Now that I'm having a boy, they all seem relieved. Why? I would have been just as happy to have a girl. To an infertile woman, the sex of the baby doesn't matter. All we want is a healthy baby. Really.

"You asked for it."
This is usually said if you dare complain about any symptoms or lack of sleep after the baby is born. Yes, I did ask for a baby and I'm willing to go through fire if that's what it takes. However, I do reserve the right to whine as much as any other woman as I do. It doesn't mean I regret it or I'd change it for anything in the world. Going through infertility doesn't take away my right to bitch. Even Brooke Shields, who went through I think 7 IVFs before getting pregnant went through post partum depression. It happens to all of us. Infertility doesn't make us immune.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

VERY WELL SAID!!!
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Blogger akeeyu said...

Yeah, I once got dragged into that "Would you rather have a boy or a girl?" crap at work. I turned to the instigators and said, very slowly and very coldly "I would be happy with a healthy, living child of either sex. You DO know I'm probably sterile, right?"

Shut them right the hell up.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen!

Don't forget: "Be careful what you wish for...hahahahaha." Somebody actually said that to me days after the adoption fell through. He's lucky he still has a head.

Christine (therabbitlived)

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I told her: "Are you kidding? I've EARNED the right to complain!"
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