Monday, January 31, 2005

Ever Felt Stuck?

Beautiful day today. The sun is shining. The gardener next door is working on his yard. The weeds in my yard continue to thrive.

There's a million things on my To Do list, but I'm stuck. I've felt stuck for awhile and I'm not sure how to fix it. Is it simply procrastination because sometimes it feels so much heavier.

As I've told you before, I work at home. It's been over a month since I've been in the office, which you would think would be good, except I miss it. I miss the people, the productivity, the quickness of the networks and availability of the resources. I miss having someone stop by my office to ask me to lunch, or having someone come in and tell me the latest gossip. I am damn lonely here at the house.

I no longer have my office here at the house since we're changing that room into a nursery. My office stuff is now in the living room, but it's not comfortable yet and I have no workspace in there yet. I've tried working from my bed, my couch, and my dining room table. I can't concentrate or focus. It's too quiet. I turn on the TV and it's too distracting (and there's Nothing on, believe me). I turn on the radio and it plays the same songs over and over, or talk radio has the same news updates every hour.

So I end up on the internet checking blogs instead of getting things done. And then my To Do list gets longer and I start feeling disappointed in myself. So I start writing, and here I am.

I know what you're thinking. "Pazel, just get back to work." Yet, I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like I can't. Like my mind is addled and my desire is gone, washed away. What can a workaholic do without work? Apparently, not much but feel stuck.

I'm about to get up and move my work site once again. I'll try a different spot and hope that it makes a difference. I doubt it. I just have to force myself to do it. Really. Starting now. I mean in a few minutes after lunch. Then I'll really get going. Really. This time I mean it.

sigh

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is the weather where you are? I often find when I cannot work inside - that working outside helps. Of course, I live in Louisiana - and it's easier to do that here than alot of places. I used to work at home. I know what you mean. I'm a social butterfly, so I'm very happy being back in an office environment.

Good luck - I hope you find something that works for you.
Kay
http://bowlofgumbo.com/kay

12:28 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Just wanted to say that I lurve you--whether you're stuck or not! Thank you so much for sharing your amnio experience with me. It helped me make a more informed decision...and I thank you genuinely.

And if it's any consolation, I don't work at home--I'm in an office with about 160 people and I get "stuck" all the time. I'd rather read blogs, write my own posts, and more. So what does that say about me?! Stuck indeed.... But I don't think that's a bad thing, for you or for me.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate that stuck feeling. I get it a lot. One thing that helps me move through it is to pick something that I haven't been wanting to do -- something small that's easy and just do it. It's amazing how sometimes something as simple as that can unblock you and start on a good momentum.

xxoo,
Emily

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