Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Feeling crappy

I'm grumpy and tired and don't feel well. I actually had to take several breaks while making my daughter's PB&J or when picking out her clothes. I just weak, my right shoulder is weak and sore (not severe, possibly computer related, but I can't lay on that side and don't want to use that arm), and slightly sick to my stomache. Maybe it's because I only slept for 1 hour last night. Just 1, from 5-6, when I then had to get up for work. Maybe? I should say that's probably the reason I feel so bad.

So I called my OB's office. A medical assistant calls me back and tells me that it's all normal for this stage of pregnancy or caused my my apparent cold. I try telling her several times that I don't have a cold, only this damn cough I've had since the beginning of December. Besides, I'm more concerned about this sudden weakness and fatigue that came on this morning, and I've been pregnant before. On and on she continues about how so many people in her office are sick with the same cold. I Don't Have A Cold!

So I asked her to have someone else call me back. This is a huge inconvenience since I have an appointment tomorrow, why can't I just wait until then?

Good question, why can't I?

I just can't. I feel terrible.

Related or unrelated, my urologist called me this morning and told me that my second 24 hour pee test also came back at 240 for protein which is twice normal, but below preeclampsia levels. He said he's sending me back to my OB for monitoring. Besides, he tells me, this is more for a nephrologist than a urologist. He says he talked to a nephrologist friend of his who said it's probably fine, just to repeat the 24 hour when I'm post partum to see if it resolves itself after the birth. (Googled protein in urine besides preeclampsia and get things like diabetes, lupus, multiple myelome, or kidney disease. Not a good search, so I'll dismiss it all. Well the diabetes one made me think since I do have PCOS which means insulin resistance, and I also have a history of big babies with my nearly 9lb daughter. On the other hand, I did pass my 1 hour GD test.)

I guess I'm just feeling tired and bitter. I hate it when my feelings are dismissed without even listening to them. I am not feeling well monitored during this pregnancy. Like I can just have another if something bad happens.

Reality is that I'm probably feeling so horrible from not sleeping. And the protein is nothing to worry about. And I'm just so worried that something is going to happen and take away this baby. I feel powerless and getting angry at the doctor's office when they're probably giving me normal, rational care. I'm simply paranoid and driving myself and everyone else crazy.


Blogger Jen P said...

Pazel, I'm sorry you feel so crap. I know how frustrating it is to feel powerless with your own health providers and it sucks.

I hope you can get some sleep tonight and everything goes well tomorrow. I wish there was more I could do or say, but please know I'm thinking about you.

Best wishes.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Hey, babe, you did the right thing in calling the doctor. I'll be eager to hear what they said. When I hear shoulder pain and upset stomach I'm reminded of the few days before I had Charlie -- those were my only symptoms of HELLP syndrome. I am NOT saying I think you have it, just that I'm glad you're getting checked out.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Mandy said...

I don't think you're at all wrong for wanting them to check it out. I read about your stomach and your shoulder and instantly thought of Julie. Doesn't mean that's what's going on, but good for you for getting it checked. Let us know, alright?

4:55 PM  
Blogger Lala said...

I agree with Julie and Mandy. Don't let them put you off, you know if you're well or not. I was going to reference Julie but I see she's brought it up herself.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Menita said...

One more for the chorus - Pazel WHO CARES if they think you're overreacting - we don't fool around with this stuff. I am hoping it's nothing, but you have absolutely every right to get it checked out and be taken seriously.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

You were dealing with a medical assistant, right? Does she have a MD after her name?!?! She should have forwarded your info to the doc and had the DOC call you back. Don't feel bad or timid about wanting more care! You know your body better than anyone, don't be afraid to listen to what it is trying to tell you.

I hope all is well and I will eagerly await your update after your doc visit.

Good luck!

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Mandy said...

Thinking of you. Hope everything is ok.

4:24 PM  

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