Friday, April 01, 2005

More Janie Talk

I'm sorry about the title yesterday. I didn't mean to scare anyone. I didn't even think about it.

I love your ideas of getting her a present from the baby. I'm going to go shopping either today or tomorrow and take care of that. It's now top of my list. I also love the hostess idea.

My mother is coming tomorrow to stay a week and help with Janie. Janie loves her because she comes just to play with her. She doesn't have to deal with laundry, cooking dinner, work, studying, cleaning house, or any of that mundane stuff. She also brings presents. Matt is planning on bringing my mother's car in to get serviced while she's here as a thank you gift. It sounds strange, but if you knew my mother you'd know that she never gets her car serviced and it probably hasn't had the oil changed in a year.

This week at school has been hard on Janie. Most of the kids are on spring break, including her beloved Armand and her other close friends. The first day she told me that she played with the new kid because the other kids wouldn't play with her. The next two days she told me that she played on her own because the new kid was being mean and the other kids wouldn't play with her. Last night she told me that she made friends with Amanda and Lea. She said that she wanted to go to school everyday even Saturday and Sunday because she wanted to play with them. She was so excited about going to school today, and brought stickers to share with them.

I think I've shared before that Janie is kind of a shy girl. She's very talkative and friendly when she knows you, but if she doesn't she probably won't say a word. When she makes friends, they're very tight, but she's not very good on making new friends.

Every day she would tell me that she didn't have someone to play with or that kids don't want to play with her I get upset. I don't show it to her, but inside I'm hurting for her. We try role playing on making introductions or inviting other kids to play or asking other kids to play, but she tells me that she's afraid they'll say no. Ouch.

So mix a rough week at school and the new baby coming on Monday and I have a lot of concerns for her. She's not had any hard feelings towards the baby (yet), but he's not that real yet either. I tell her that he likes to hear her voice and that he can't wait to meet her. I tell her that they will be brother and sister forever. I tell her that she will always be my girl and my first and my baby no matter how old she is. And I try to spend more time hugging her, talking with her, and just hanging out with her. But I know I can't completely protect her from how she might feel.

It's a luxury to have this problem, a second baby coming. One of the reasons Janie has been such a star is because she took so long to be conceived (3 years and 3rd IUI), and because we assumed that she could very well be our only child. She was the first grandchild in 12 years on both sides of the family. I don't know if there is a child more revered and spoiled than that of an infertile couple.

I'm going to take your advice and work on putting together some special things for Janie from the baby and special things she can do. She is still my baby. I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love her. It seems impossible. I've heard it can happen. I'm looking forward to finding out.


p.s. I had my last class last night for a few weeks. Suddenly everyone wants to talk to me. Are you excited? Are you nervous? How are you feeling? I'm the reluctant celebrity. Especially when I have to pee.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if someone suggested this already but before I gave birth to my second child, I threw my daughter a "Big Sister" party. It was a very small affair. Just close friends, we did pottery painting and instead of presents I asked for plants to put in their "Sister Garden" (I knew I was having a girl). I painted a beautiful sign with the girls name to put in the garden and planted the flowers there. It was really special and she LOVED it. She was so surprised! :) (She was almost 6 at the time, so I hear you on being the "star" child)

When she came to the hospital we put a little present (a very nice, simple "Big Sister" necklace) in the baby's bassinet. She loved that too.

She loves being a big sister and the girls get along surprisingly well for their age difference which was my biggest fear. I thought I was having "two only children." That hasn't been the case at all. It's been so great! :)

~ Ninotchka

12:45 PM  

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