Monday, June 27, 2005

Feeling a little snarky

Paula Abdul was on the news tonight nearly in tears about the pain in her thumb from an infection she got from a nail infection. Yes, this was news. Big news. Jack felt so sorry for her, or as he put it, "Hey Paula, Kiss my stoma!"

Watch out, I'm feeling snarky tonight. The fix is in and I don't think any more family can accidentally find me. I've been holding it in for too long. Must. Comment. On. Family...

So one of my younger sisters graduates with her PhD. My brother and father gave her advice on how to negotiate a good salary from her first real job. A week or so later she emails the family and says that she disregarded the advice because she was given an excellent offer. My older sister, you know, the one who is dating the doctor 30 years older than her not because he's good looking or fun to be with (because he's definately not) butbecause he's a doctor (made only more evident by the fact that she calls him 'the doctor' instead of by name), sends her and everyone in the family a note about how our young sis shouldn't be so focused on money like everyone else in the family (excluding herself). Ummm, wait, who is dating someone only for his money?

And then there's youngest sister. I don't know if I told you about her. She was married... for 3 months before she cheated and they broke up. This was after the biggest wedding of the century, for which they still owe my brother some money. She goes out and buys a car with her new boyfriend (the one who she cheated with), and she puts everything in his name. The downpayment is all hers, and she makes all the payments. Then they break up and he takes the car. She can't get it back because it's in his name. And she's surprised. Ummm, wait, who said this guy had any morals? Wasn't he the one who while you were only 3 months married went with you to MY house and your mother's house and pretended he was gay when really he was just sleeping with a newly married woman? And what were you doing buying a new car with some loser guy you hardly know, with money you should be using to pay back your brother for the super wedding? By the way, I'm still waiting for that thank you note. You know, for the wedding present. You know, the gift certificate you called and asked for because you said that you and S wanted to buy a new bedroom set. Then a week after the wedding you called because you got the certificate but thought you must have misplaced the present it must have been attached to? Please little sister, stop telling me how you and your soon to be ex-husband are going through counseling. Especially when I know that he's already living with another girl and you went out and bought a car with the guy you cheated on him with. I'm not buying it and I really don't want to hear about it.

Okay, it's off my chest. Now I've got to go pack. Lordy lordy, I really ought to give up the wine on an empty stomach.

19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you are in my Husband's family. That sounds just like something some of my inlaws would do. Isn't it fun being "normal"? Have fun on your trip.

Look after those precious children of yours and leave the "drama" to your siblings.

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