Tuesday, January 17, 2006

5 Things

I apologize for the spotty posts. Unforgivable really.

In return I offer to you these pictures of me and mine as a token of my affection...

First I'll finish the hospital story.
I threw a fit and we got moved to a wonderful room, with no roommate for two nights. Then he shared a room with a 14 year old who had fallen from her friend's bicycle handlebars and had several broken bones. Her family prayed a lot for her, but wouldn't stay with her in the hospital. She cried the first two nights. She also kept the tv on constantly and I've never seen so many teen shows in my life. (That's So Raven, Suite Life of Somebody and Somebody, and so on.)

Second I'll tell you how great he's doing.
He is doing great. We had to start out by taking him in twice a week to watch for dehydration. Blood draws- poor little guy. We had to write down all feedings and weigh all diapers. The feedings part was impossible to document because he was up most nights all night feeding just because he was so happy to be home in my bed with his best friend boobie so close again. Although the skin on his butt is so delicate, we've been keeping it constantly creamy with his prescription creams, sprays and powders (many layers) that it's stayed pretty normal underneath it all. Also, his appetite is much better, and he's turned into a pleasant baby instead of a cranky, fussy guy. He's still very clingy, but I guess that's to be expected. He only has 25% of his colon (large intestine) - he's watching out for bandits in scrubs to drug him and take the rest.

Third is how we're all normalizing.
Janie still calls diaper changes "bag changes." And all her baby dolls have pretend stomas (colostomy sites). She finds it fascinating that he poops like everyone else. I love dressing him in pants and shirts instead of onesies. Real boy clothes. Family is more comfortable watching him for us - although his diaper changes have more steps, it's a big change from having to explain how to empty a bag or change one. Matt and I are constantly looking over this past year and being surprised at how far we've come. Hirschsprung's, colostomy, pull-through, digoxin, who knew all that 2005 had in store for us? And now we're going to be pretty normal. Boring normal. I think it's refreshing.

Fourth, for my New Year's resolution I chose to treat him like a normal baby and have him sleep in his crib. And I let him cry. Not everyone agrees with this method, but within two days he became the best sleeper. Now he sleeps from 8pm to 6am without waking, and all in his crib. This from the kid who fed all night in my bed and would get upset if I dared tried to roll away from him. And it was very tough to do, but I had to do it. I needed the sleep and I also needed to start treating him like a regular baby. And it was the best thing I've done in a long time.

Fifth, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this site. I'd love to write more often, yet it is impossible. My days are spent holding him, taking care of Janie, trying to get caught up on laundry, working (oh yea that), putting toys away, and working on school. I graduate this May if I'm a good girl. I'm job hunting which is very important to figure out what I want to do (which I could discus ad naseum) and where we want to live (California is so incredibly expensive, we'd like to move to a better way of life).

I don't want to give this site up. It's been my lifeline and my get away. It's my support and my private space. Yet, I feel incredible guilt for stopping and starting and being absent too much. If only I could find a way to get my thoughts posted as I get my few moments to think alone - while driving, showering, or trying to fall asleep. Most of the other time I'm so focused on the act at hand - or trying to figure out how to get away for a nap - that I don't get that deep.

So I want to apologize in advance for my flighty-ness and departures and absences. I'm thinking about this site, mentally wringing my hands that I'm not here, but it's spot in my list of things to do is a dusty spot rarely seen by my pencil - except as I constantly write in more new things above it (like the bathroom renovation to start next week).

If you have read this far, you are far more loyal than I have been and it is to you that this is addressed. I'll be back. I promise. I wish I could be here more often. I'm just crazy busy. I'm sorry. And I'll 'see' you soon. Thank you for being here.



Blogger Jen said...

Hey - don't go away! We understand all the pressures you have in your life!! I'm happy when there's new updates and a little worried when they are far apart, but definitely want to know what's up with you and your family even if it's a while between posts.

Thanks for letting us know how the hospital story turned out and I am SO HAPPY that Jack is doing so well. Enjoy!

4:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Egad, that's a beautiful family you have!

Thanks for the update. I don't mind if you come back only infrequently, as long as you do come back.

5:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh don't mind us, we'll still be here, waiting for news. Really, no pressure. Just enjoy yourself and your wonderful family.

5:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your children are beautiful. Congrats on making it so far. Don't worry about us readers - write when you can, when you want, whatever, you have no obligation to us!

6:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GORGEOUS pictures!!! Both Jack and Janie have those round baby cheeks you just want to squeeeeeeeeeze...

I do hope you don't go away permanently. I sure understand why regular posting isn't feasible, but I also want very much to know how Jack continues to do. I'm more than willing to keep checking, no matter how long it takes!!!

So happy things are going so well for all of you!

6:19 AM  
Blogger sherry said...

I second, third, fourth....not sure what the count is, but what everyone else says! Stick around, come back when you can and keep us in the loop when time allows.

And yes, that is one faboo looking family!

7:02 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

There's no need for appology and certainly no reason for the guilt. You do have a life - live it! When you get a chance to post, you do. That's all that needs to be said about that.

I'm so glad to hear Jack is well, recovering nicely and sleeping through the night! Fantastic! You have a beautiful family and I'm glad everything is normalizing. You all deserve it. Have a wonderful day, and I'll look forward to your next post, whenever it is. Don't worry about us - we'll be here. : )

(I haven't posted on my own site in ages - just been swarmed with deadlines!)

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad you are back, even if it is intermittent. Gorgeous family too! Welcome to boring family life!

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, what they said.

I'm so happy things are where they are. Good luck figuring out where to go and what to do next. Based on what you have been through so far...it sounds like you will come out of any changes with flying colors!

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darling Pazel, I am so happy that Jack is doing so well. Please post when you can, all your fans will stop by often : )
Thank you for sharing the pictures, and again I am just thrilled that everything is going so well. ABOUT FRIGGIN TIME!!!

5:09 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

"Normal" is wonderful...and I'm thrilled to hear that things have settled down for the better, if not the best. Wonderful news.

And "Jack's Half Smile?" Simply gorgeous. That's one fine son you've got yourself my friend :-)

10:53 AM  
Blogger Mally said...

I have been following your story for awhile. I'm so glad to hear that things are becoming "normal" for you guys.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great ending to your story! I hope you will continue to update when you get the chance. Don't feel guilty about not updating often, you have a life to live!

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just stopped back to see how you and Jack were doing and it was perfect timing.

Don't worry about updating only infrequently. I would love to hear how Jack is adapting and you are able to treat him more like a child who does not have his disease.

Bottomline, I am very happy to hear how well everything is turning out.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm just glad there aren't any crises that require posting!

Post when you can, no guilt please :).

Rachel H.

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a lurker. I love checking in on you. I'm so happy for you that you have no time to post because you are too busy leading a normal life. Enjoy it, but stop by every so often to tell us how it's going.
You've worked hard to get to this point. You've been through hell.
I'm glad things are normalizing.

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be a terrible thing for you to go away. You don't owe us anything, including regularity, but we're here when you have something to write. Even if a certain member of "we" has been very sporadic in checking back with you but wants you to know she stil loves and supports you!


7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It isn't the end of history but touch wood it's the final happy ending to the story. Here you've been sharing your infertility story and then your Jack's-surgery story, for a long time. That's going to stay with all of you for the rest of your lives, and there will surely be other crises to face, but the tale that needs to be told, to encourage and forewarn anyone whose troubles are at all similar - that's done. And as you say, you don't need another commitment of time...

I think you could either cap the story here and start another blog for hopefully happier times now - little and occasionally - or just keep it going here for family news updates once in a while. Y'know, like with a Christmas card from people you're not sure you still remember...

Whatever you choose to do about that, good luck to everyone!

5:55 PM  
Blogger Rebekah said...

I second everyone's request that you don't disappear permanently. It has been a blessing to read about your family, and even if you can only post every once in a long while, that's much better than not knowing at ALL about the goings on of your family. Please don't feel the pressure to write all the time. We all totally understand how busy your life is!

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to hear the update! Thanks for letting us see the pics. :) TJM

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations and best wishes to all of you. Normal is a wonderful place - enjoy it for a good, long time.

12:58 PM  
Blogger April said...


you have such a beautiful story - and family. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

The strength you've shown in the last year has been such an inspiration.

Please take care of yourself. And of yours.

12:56 PM  
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9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pazel, you need to do what you need to do, even though you haven't been writing regularly, it's been wonderful to be able to come here and see if there are updates. I hope that the four of you are doing really well and that life is still continuing to become normal. Normalcy has it's definite appeals. Especially after such a ride as your family has been on. I'll keep on coming back to check up on you and even if you only post a snippet here and there, it's worth it to me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just checking...hope you get the chance to post soon. But until then I will assume "no news is good news." But I do miss you!

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss you. Hope all is well.

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